Aa Gym, Popular Indonesian Preacher Sparks Polygamy Debate
Category: Celebrity News, Family, Gossip, Lifestyle, Relationship
“Aa Gym“, or Brother Gym, as Abdullah Gymnastiar is called, is a household name in Indonesia because of his modern and moderate style and relaxed sermons on Islam that charm rather than exhort. His chatty, youthful style and effervescent smile, easy tone, use of hi-technology and hobbies such as riding Harley Davidsons set him apart from stereotypical clerics. Now the popular cleric has sparked a fiery debate in Indonesia by secretly marrying a second wife.
Present Indonesian law only disallows polygamy for civil servants, but the govt of Susilo Bambang Yudyohono is considering extending that to cover all public servants, including legislators such as Aa Gym. The main Islamic political parties immediately reacted angrily, arguing that restricting the practice, which they say is sanctioned by the Koran, will lead to increased levels of adultery and prostitution.
Muslim men who are not working as civil servants are currently allowed to marry up to four wives as defined by Islamic teaching, though present law says Muslim men may marry again only if their first wife is infertile, ill or absent – however these restrictions are rarely enforced. It is not clear how prevalent polygamy is in Indonesia, though it has been practiced for a long time. Many observers believe it has increased in recent years, while others say it has simply become more open since the 1999 fall of Indonesia strongman Soeharto, whose wife, Tien, was a fierce opponent of polygamy. But polygamy has never disappeared, with several public figures, such as former vice president Hamzah Haz, musician Rhoma Irama and restaurateur Puspo “Wong Solo” Wardoyo, having more than one wife. Wardoyo, who has four wives and has been at the forefront of a campaign to promote multiple marriages, owns a popular chain of restaurants known for items like “Polygamy juice”, a mixture of four tropical fruits, and “Polygamy Vegetables, a four-vegetable combo. Former president Abdurrahman Wahid’s wife, Sinta Nuriyah Wahid, was also a prominent opponent of multiple marriages and two years ago led a group of protesters who blocked the delivery of packed lunches from Wardoyo’s chain. More recently, an arthouse film sparked some soul-searching with stories of three women in polygamous relationships: a rich doctor, a waitress and a poor shantytown girl. “Although these women possess different feelings, some things are the same: the sadness and denials behind their smiles,” Nia Dinata, the director of “Berbagi Suami”, or sharing a husband, said in an interview.
But it is the marital actions of prominent figures that brings polygamy to the fore in this, the largest predominantly Muslim 
nation. Aa Gym is not an ordinary man, but a widely respected cleric and legislator seen by many as a model husband and a promoter of family values. Sporting a turban and often a leather jacket, riding a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Aa Gym is close to the Indonesian President and his wife, and has a weekly radio show syndicated across 150 stations.
Responding to questions about the rumor he had taken a second wife, Aa Gym initially said, “Women tend to be monogamous, that’s how their ‘software’ is … But men, you know… their ‘software’ is different.” Then, on Saturday and again Sunday, he confirmed he had taken a second wife and said he was sorry if he had made any of his admirers “uncomfortable” or had “hurt and disappointed” them. But he did not apologize for practicing polygamy, saying he was concerned that it was seen as a vice, with the men who practiced it mocked. He said he believed that polygamy was allowed under certain circumstances. “At the same time, all around us, promiscuity is rampant, children being born out of wedlock is tolerated,” said the father of seven children, with first wife Ninih Muthmainah, and step-father to the three children of new wife Alfarini Eridani. Aa Gym added that he would not generally recommend polygamy, however, as it was “not an easy thing” and that he was still struggling with it.
Media report that his cell phone and email box received many messages, such as “Polygamy is indeed allowed, but don’t put lust above everything else” or “Don’t sell out your religion“. But it was not just Aa Gym’s cellphone that lit up – the phone of President Yudyohono received a lot of short messages from people giving controversial reactions to the news.
In response to the messages, the president then called up State Minister for the Empowerment of Women, Meutia Hatta, and Minister/State Secretary Sudi Silalahi and Director General for the Islamic Promotion of the Religious Affairs Ministry, Nazzarudin Umar. Yudyohono asked that the Government Regulation No.10/1983, which had been revised into Government Regulation No.45/1990, on polygamy was not only imposed on civil servants but also on state and government officials including governors, regents, district heads, police/military officers and legislators.
Minister Meutia Hatta said the Government Regulation would be revised soon and the revision would not only deal with polygamy but also other matters including those on protection of women and anti-discrimination. Meanwhile, Sudi Silalahi said the government`s decision to extend the coverage of the Government Regulation was not intended to interfere in the people`s personal affairs but only to enforce the existing regulation. Sudi pointed out that the Law No.1/1974 on marriage also stipulates polygamy and requirements of polygamy as well as sanctions on those against the law. Article 3.1 of the law says the marriage endorsed by the religious court is the one for a husband and a wife. If a man wants more than one wife, he must go to the religious court for permission. The court will permit a man to have more than one wife if his first wife fails to serve him and cannot have an offspring. Among other conditions for a man to marry more than one woman is that he must also get permission from his first wife or wives, he said.
The nation’s clerics were not far behind in their responses.
“If the government wants to regulate polygamy, it has to do it correctly because Islam allows polygamy with some strict conditions,” Ichwan Sam, secretary general of the Indonesian Ulema Council, an umbrella group of Muslim clerics, said. “There should not be an impression that government regulations or laws are reducing religious teachings.”
Abu Bakar Bashir, the alleged former spiritual leader of Jemaah Islamiah, also weighed in to defend polygamy. “Polygamy is sharia; whoever rejects it becomes an infidel,” he said.
Anis Matta, secretary-general of the Justice and Prosperity Party – the country’s most successful Islamic party – himself a polygamist, said Muslims should have the option. “If a good match for the woman is already married and she is willing to become a second wife, then why not? … “Islam makes sure that the channelling of personal desires is done in a socially beneficial manner.”
The chairman of the country’s supreme religious council, Ma’ruf Amin, said polygamy should only be permitted under strict conditions, and that the husband must have the means.
Deputy Chairman of the People`s Consultative Assembly (MPR), AM Fatwa strongly criticized the government`s plan to revise the Government Regulation on polygamy. “The issue must be consulted with the House of Representatives,” Fatwa said, adding that if the government prohibited people to conduct polygamy, it (the government) had interfered the people`s privacy too far. He opined that the government`s measure had as if taught people to be hypocrite, whereas, the religion (Islam) has stipulated the matter (polygamy).
Meanwhile, Aa Gym himself had reacted to the government`s plan to revise the Government Regulation No.45/1990 calling on the latter not to prohibit people to conduct legal deed by revising the regulation but ban people from illicit conducts. “Overcome first prostitutions and fornications which are still found in the country,” Aa Gym, a father of seven children with first wife Ninih Mutmainah Muhsin, said in his sermon at the Batam Grand Mosque in Riau, last Tuesday night. According to the Muslim cleric from Bandung, West Java, who did not recommend that his followers follow suit, polygamy is allowed by Islam under strong requirements.
Sharing the same idea with Aa Gym was a member of the Prosperous Justice Party (PKS) faction at the Representative Council of Medan, North Sumatra, Dhiyaul Hayati, saying that the government had better eradicate prostitutions rather than prohibiting people to conduct polygamy. According to Dhiyaul, harassment and even oppression against women occurred in prostitution areas but not in the area of polygamy which is allowed by the religion for the goodness of women.
Chairman of Muhammadiyah (the second largest Muslim organization in Indonesia) Din Syamsuddin called on the people not to develop the discourse on polygamy as it would only create unnecessary pros and cons on the issue among the people, while female Islamic scholar Musdah Mulia said that while Aa Gym had the right to practice polygamy, he should not have used religion to justify it or regarded it as a sign of righteousness. “Don’t bring religion into this. Polygamy was allowed in a period when people were still uncivilized. Now it’s not in line with ethics and values,” said Musdah, an Islamic jurisprudence professor. She said Islamic teachings emphasized treating other human beings, including wives, fairly and kindly. “Practicing polygamy means committing violence against wives and children, as they will feel disappointed, abandoned and lost, which are forms of violence too,” Musdah said. She said Indonesia should follow the example of other Muslim majority countries like Morocco, Turkey and Tunisia and ban polygamy. “Morocco and Tunisia officially adopted sharia law, but they banned polygamy as the ulemas saw the practice as bringing more bad things than good,” she said.
Muslim scholar Abdul Moqsith Ghazali said Aa Gym had violated the Islamic Law Compilation as well as the 1974 Marital Law. “There is no reason for Aa Gym to practice polygamy as the laws stipulate that a man can take second wife only if the first wife does not carry out her duty, like abandoning her children, or is disable or infertile,” he said. The debate over polygamy should be ended, he added. “Although Aa Gym did not suggest other men follow his suit, as a public figure, his behavior will influence others, which cannot be controlled by Aa Gym,” said Abdul.
Nurjannah Nitura, a psychologist at Syiah Kuala University in Aceh, called on the government to respond to the current polygamy issue prudently to avoid misperceptions on the matter among the people.
“I am not in a position to approve or disapprove of polygamy but I hope the government will not totally outlaw polygamy. If there is a new idea (to revise) the existing government regulation on polygamy, it will harm no one,” Nurjannah said. Nurjannah made the remark in comment on the polygamy issue and the statement of Women`s Affairs Minister Meutia Hatta that Government Regulation No.45/1990 banning polygamy among government officials also needed to be applied to the public at large. According to Islamic teachings, a Muslim man is allowed to have more than one wife but for strong reasons and provided he can treat his wives equally, she said. “Historically, the Prophet Muhammad actually did not practice polygamy although he had more than one wife. The prophet married again only after his first wife had died, and the women he married were older than himself and from different ethnic groups,” she noted. In addition, the prophet married again for Islamic propogation purposes and struggles but not out of passion. The prophet had also proven that he could treat his four wives fairly,” she said. Certain persons had currently tended to simplify the act of polygamy for illogical reasons, Nurjannah said, adding that polygamy could only be exercised if the first wife could no longer serve her husband.
Women’s activists say polygamy, which goes back before the Javanese sultans, is a form of female subjugation that should be completely banned.
“In our marriage law, our principle is monogamy. . . but the law puts polygamy as an exit in the worst situation,” Nursyahbani Katjasungkana, a leading feminist lawyer and member of parliament, said. “For me, polygamy is discrimination or like apartheid. If your husband doesn’t like you he can get rid of you.”
Maria Ulfah Anshori of Nahdlatul Ulama said that polygamy was only possible because of the unequal relationship between men and women. “A man always marries a second wife who is economically, socially and politically weaker than he is. In NU, there has never been a case in which an Islamic boarding school (pesantren) head weds a female pesantren head,” she said.
In Bandung, thousands of supporters of the Reformed Democratic Party (PDP), a split-off from former Indonesian president Sukarno’s daughter Megawati Sukarnoputri’s Indonesia Democratic party of Struggle (PDI-P), also voiced support for the government’s move to restrict polygamy. In a rally to celebrate the party’s first anniversary Saturday, they condemned the second marriage of Aa Gym, saying it was a form of harassment of women and set a bad example for the Muslim community. “As a Muslim woman, I am very disappointed with the second marriage which has damaged Islamic culture and upset women’s dignity. We won’t be second wives. With full support from women, PDP should work hard to phase out polygamy in the country,” said rallier Hetty Kushariadi. At the event women cried out “No” to Aa Gym and “Yes” to the government’s move to widen the polygamy ban to all state officials.
The debate moved into the street, with opposing groups marching and carrying signs. “Polygamy is halal (allowed in Islam). Extramarital affairs are haram (forbidden),” said one of the pro-polygamy posters. Moments later, another group of women marched at the same location, shouting anti-polygamy slogans. “One, I love my mother. Two, I love my father. Three, I love my brothers and sisters. One, two, three, I reject polygamy,” they chanted to the tune of a well-known children’s song.
President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono on Thursday asked the people to have a good knowledge of the marriage law in responding to various marriage cases and called on them to consider the cases rationally and soothingly. “Leave the marriage cases to the law and government regulation. If someone asks for revising the law and regulation, this will be another matter. What is important is that the law and regulation are applicable to every citizen,” the president said before around 1,700 members of the Association of Retired Civil Servants and the Wives of Civil Servants (Dharma Wanita) here Thursday.
According to the president, the law and government regulation on marriage must be understood and implemented by all the people, government officials in particular. He noted that the current marriage case was actually only a personal matter but it had entered the public and social areas as the mass media had intensively focused their coverage on the question. “Where personal matters are concerned, we actually cannot make any judgement, and must leave them to the prevailing government regulation,” the head of state said, adding, “the people should not be trapped by the problem as we still have many things to do and settle, I don`t want it to become an unsound discourse and disturb our life”. The president also asked the people to read the law and government regulation on marriage in order to live peacefully in harmonious families.
Tags: Aa Gym, Polygamy
